Know Your Owls
by Kriftonucci
Summary: The GOG cast becomes part of the poular scene series of 'Know Your Stars '. Complete.
1. Soren

**Know Your Owls**

**By Dead Promises**

**1#: Soren's Turn**

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Into view comes a completely empty room, apart from the great maple tree in the middle of it all.

Perched on a branch of that tree was a magnificent barn owl, who from his continuous blinking knew not where the racdrops he was.

Until minutes came when he decided to stay comfortable, and let destiny do its part.

Suddenly, a voice comes out of nowhere, and in a ridiculously happy echo, it spoke:

_Know Your Stars_

_knoW youR starS_

_KNOW YOUR STARS_

_know your stars_

_Srats rouy wonk_

_Now you're stares_

Soren knew not what the voice was, but he seemed quite content to hear whoever the narrator was say his name.

_Soren_

_He likes to feel on cushion monkeys to buy Trader Mags' special milkberry pasta._

Until he came to that part.

"Um, not to be rude but who told you such thing? What are cushion monkeys and when the hagsmire did Trader Mags mention anything about milkberry pasta anyway?" Soren asked, irritated as well as confused.

_Soren_

_He was there when the French revolution gave out free Linkin Park CDs._

"Okay, first off, no I was not! Second, what be all this you're informing me about French revolution and some Linkin Park CDs? Is there such existence even in the frinking Owl Kingdom?" Soren asked, or mildly snapped.

Eight seconds passed.

"Hello? Who are you? And why am I here to begin with?" Soren asked, almost begging.

_Soren._

_He just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to Geico._

"……………What? But I don't even know what-"

_Soren_

_He has no idea that his tail is on fire._

"What are you talking about? my tail is not-" But before Soren could go on, he turns his head all the way back to his neck like in the exorcist, and sees smoke coming out of his tail feathers.

"BAW-COCK!!" Yells Soren, more like a chicken from a Looney Tunes episode than the owl he was as he began flying around to sway off the flames.

_Now you know:_

_Soren_

Ones the flames were completely out, he stood on the branch, and began huffing angrily.

"No they don't!" Yelled Soren.

_Yes they do._

"Hey, who are you at least? And why did you just……HEY WAIT! COME BACK I SAY!

Gylfie?

Digger?

Twilight?

Coryn?

Anyone? This isn't funny! Someone tell me what's going on!" Soren continued to yell.

Soon the whole scene does like Jay-Z's movie, and fades to black.

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**Whether it was good**

**Or easily lame.**

**Right now please review**

**Or if you want, flame!**

**(But not on Soren's tail! XD)**


	2. Twilight

**2#: Twilight's Turn**

**Before I get on with the story, I'd like to thank all the people who reviewed, and for taking too long, I'm sorr…**

**ENJOY!**

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"I could have sworn I heard Soren yell here! Hm he probably already left, that weasel" Implied a confused Twilight, as he spotted immediately a tree branch to perch on top of.

As soon as he perched on it, two seconds passed before the same voice began to echo ridiculously:

_Know Your Stars_

_knoW youR starS_

_KNOW YOUR STARS_

_know your stars_

_Srats rouy wonk_

_Now you're stares_

"I am a star" Twilight said conceitedly, spreading hid wings without wondering where the voice was coming from.

_Twilight._

"That's my name" Twilight replied.

_He's gay in denial._

"And that's-

HUH? No I'm not! Who said that?!" Twilight asked immediately irritated.

_I did._

"Really? Well listen up I DID, if you're going to say anything about it, don't yarp lies!" Twilight snapped.

_Okay._

"Very well, now on with the compliments!" Twilight said.

_Twilight._

_He likes to write and sing songs about flowers, rainbows and his yaoi relationship with Digger._

"SAY WHAT!? I write songs about battles, victories, and my great pride! NOT ABOUT RAINBOWS AND FLOWERS AND… That last thing I'm going to assume it has to do with me being…

HEY!! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH DIGGER!!" Twilight bellowed almost ferociously.

Silence spread throughout the place.

"Hello? Are you there? Come out you coward!" Twilight yelled even more exasperated than he thought.

_Twilight_

_He's fat from all the comfort food he ate when he was an owlet from other owlets making fun of him for being gay._

"…

…CONGRATULATIONS! YOU JUST WON A FREE, ALL EXPENSE PAID ASS KICKING!! WHERE ARE YOU?! COME AND SAY THAT TO MY SPRINKING FACE YOU WUSS!!"

Twilight was huffing so loud, he almost fell from the branch.

"HELLO?! WHERE THE HAGSMIRE ARE YOU?!" Twilight continued bellowing.

_Twilight._

_His full name is krakish for "I HEART Gerard Way"_

"First of all, MY FULL NAME IS NOT KRAKISH FOR THAT! Second, WHO'S THIS GERARD WAY YOU'RE YARPING ABOUT! Third-"

_Now you know_

_Twilight, I HEART Gerard Way_

"WHAT, NO THEY FRINKING DON'T!!" Twilight yelled and hopped so loud, he fell out of the branch.

_Yes they do_

Once Twilight got up from the ground, he continued to hop around while cursing for the know your stars guy's attention.

"HEY! COME BACK HERE YOU WUSS!! YOU'RE FULL OF RACDROPS YOU KNOW!! COME BACK OR I'LL SHOVE MADAM PLONK'S FAVORITE TEA CUP UP YOUR-"

End!

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**Wow I'm glad that's over.**

**I've run out of funny things to say.**

**But thanks to all you reviewers**

**Who read this story anyway (hey, that rhymed!)**

**P.S., HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**


	3. Gylfie

**3#: Gylfie's Turn**

**Once again, thanks to everyone who reviewed for the last one, and I'm sorry for taking too long…AGAIN!**

**Enjoy please.**

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After Twilight inexplicably disappeared, Gylfie comes into presence with a perplexed look identical to the ones the two previous owls had.

Just as she looked around, the elf owl immediately found a tree.

"Oh, now there's comfort" She said before flying towards a branch on to perch.

Once she was perfectly alight, the voice begins to sound at the correct moment:

_Know Your Stars_

_Sepa Sus Estrellas_

_Savez Que Le Votre Tient le premier rôle_

_Kennen Sie Ihre Sterne_

_Conosca Le Vostre Stelle_

_あなたの星を知りなさい_

"Oh well, I guess I'll take that as if it is talking about me, ohm, how charming." Gylfie said.

_Gylfie_

_She has a minor oedipal complex_

"Huh, no I don't! Why would you say that? I was kidnapped since I was an owlet for glaux's sake! And even if I wasn't" Said Gylfie, before knowing that she could do anything but finish.

_Gylfie_

_Is mad because she's PMSing_

"Excuse me? Even if I knew what that meant, I would let you realize that the only problem I'm having right now is the fact you're not behaving mature when you keep throwing in these outrageous lies about me!" Gylfie nearly yelled.

After a few minutes without reply, Gylfie's patience was beginning to diminish.

"Hello! Are you there? Answer me!"

_Gylfie_

_Looks at picture of Ezylryb when he was younger and more muscular_

"Can you repeat that? It sounds like your calling me a pervert! Which I'm not by the way! I mean, I'm perfectly fine with false accusations, but when your minds in the gutter, that's beyond lies!" Gylfie said firmly yet prudently.

_Gylfie_

_Do you want to know what time it is?_

"Yes! But would that help me in figuring out who for glaux sakes you are and why it's your job to torment me this way?" Gylfie asked.

No reply from seven seconds passing.

"Yoo-hoo! Didn't you hear me? I want to know what time it is! And with that being said, please tell me, WHAT TIME IS IT?!"

Seconds passed, and still no reply.

"Seriously" Gylfie began speaking to herself.

"I mean, there's no window anywhere to show the significance of any light coming from the outside. Who could know either ways what time it is."

_I'll tell you what time it is_

"Really? What?" Asked Gylfie extremely anxious, without noticing a weird banana guy appearing out of nowhere, and:

**IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME**

**WAY YAT**

**WAY YAT**

**WAY YAT**

**WAY YAT**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

"You know what? This is pointless, by all incomes, I'm leaving" Said Gylfie before flying away somewhere out of view.

Nevertheless did the stupid banana guy continue:

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY**

**PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT**

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**That's all**

**Yeah, I'm sorry if I made anyone mad from the lack**

**Of creativity this chapter contained.**

**Anyone who wants to insult me, by all means go ahead.**

**But if you all can find it in your hearts (and gizzards) to forgive**

**Me, I promise I'll make the next chapter better, okay? (and yes, I WILL**

**Make one about Kludd, I just need the time that's all)**

**It'll probably be a few more weeks until I update once more, but thanks again for reading! I appreciate it very much!**


	4. Digger

**4#: Digger's Turn**

**I know you people are all mad at me for once again saying the same bullracdrops I keep on saying. THAT'S WHY this time I'm going to run a list of the people I'd like to thank for reviewing: Katana The Hedgehog, Insane Rice Of The Cosmos, Mothwing's Love, Shadow Sora94, Owlipoppen, Ih8bush.**

**I don't think I forgot anyone.**

**Enjoy!**

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Yet another humbly quiet moment on the same spot of the huge tree, until a burrowing owl came into appearance.

"Could this be the place where the band instructed me to meet them?" Digger asked himself, when just as the three previous owls, he looks at the tree.

"Normally, the ground's my turf, but hey! Let's try flying for once!" Digger told himself and immediately flew upon the branch.

"Quite comfy" Digger said, just in the nick of time for the KYS guy to start:

_Know_

_Know your _

_Know your stars_

_Know your _

_Know_

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you!" Replied Digger, looking up.

_Digger._

_He named himself after an official mascot of a London Irish rugby football club._

"Um, yeah, nice try! I'm on to your so-called shenanigans, and I can tell you right now" Digger began.

"I am NOT going to fall for tha-"

_Digger._

_He dies in in the sixth book when Metal Beak drowns him in a tub of delicious tapioca pudding._

"Are you smoking leafs? I never died that way! HAGSMIRE! It's Kludd who dies in the sixth book when Twilight- RACDROPS! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!! Is it too late to say "spoiler alert" ?" Asked Digger, nearly nervous.

As always, a few seconds passed just enough for Digger to ask "Hello! Are you still there? Gees this is eccentric!"

_Digger._

_Does fan service for Harry Potter owls only._

"Okay, I don't exactly know what you just said, but I'm sure it had to do with something perverted, right? RIGHT?!" Yelled Digger.

_Look's like Hedwig's Christmas wish came true after all _;).

"WHO THE BAGONGA IS HEDWIG?!" Digger asked.

Digger looked around, in hopes that would help him find out where the guy was.

"Seriously, this person needs to sort his priorities" Digger told himself.

_Digger._

_Has no idea what the carvings on the tree say._

"What? You mean these carved hieroglyphic like letters on this tree? Of course I know how to read them!" Digger exclaimed.

_Then prove it._

"All right then! I will!" Retaliated Digger as he cleared his throat, and read the words out loud:

**I almost forgot to thank J.T. Miller as well. Thanks. I'm gay and I like to masturbate multiple times daily.**

From the very second Digger finished, he stood there for five more seconds before he uttered a word.

"Your dead meat, pilgrim, COME OUT ALREADY!!" Digger yelled furiously.

"Yeah! You're too weak to fight! Is that it? What are you going to do after I call you a neo maxi wuss, huh? NOTHING! Yeah, that's what I-"

_Digger. _

_Likes to call all the viewers and reviewers of this story who are girls his "hoes"_

"Yeah, like anyone's going to believe-" But before Digger could finish, an angry mob was heard.

"LET'S GET HIM!!" They yelled.

Once Digger's eyes widened from that lovely sight he just consumed, he flew down from the tree.

"Well, like my brother used to say before he was made shish kabobs by Jatt and Jut "When the fun is done, you'd better run!"" Digger told himself, and ran off.

"I never said that you twat!" Proclaimed the scroom of Digger's brother.

_Now you know_

_Digger._

"NO THEY DON- Oh, why do I even scrabble?" Digger told himself, and ran off.

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**Once more, that be it!**

**I just hope it sounded like it was written.**

**With twice the effort than the last.**

**Either way, thanks for reading!**

**And see you again in a couple of weeks!**


	5. Kludd

**5#: Kludd's Turn**

**Since it's perhaps boring to thank you all for reviewing every time I release a new chapter (although it's the best way for me to express my sincere appreciation for it) I've decided to say something everyone says in spite of the fact people would be too stupid not to know:**

**I don't legally claim the ownership of Guardians of Ga'hoole, and I am not making any money out of this blah blah blah.**

**ON WITH THE SHOW ALREADY!!**

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"Hm, I suppose I expected too much of Hagsmire now that I see this!" Kludd proclaimed, looking around the empty room.

"Well what do you know, something from my world, at last!" said Kludd, as he did the obvious and perched on top of the same branch of the same tree.

When minutes later, comes the same voice:

_Knowyourstarsknowyourstarsknowyourstarsknowyourstarsknowyourstarsknowyourstarsknowyourstars._

"Stars do nothing but disperse their futile light throughout the feeble sky, mocking the majestic darkness itself. Why would I want to be one of them?" Kludd replied.

_Kludd_

"What?!" Kludd asked, clearly not in much of a mood.

_He thinks Three Days Grace sucks._

"…

…

…

…

…

..COUGH!

…

…

…

…" Said Kludd.

Nothing else was heard throughout the room.

_Kludd_

_He died and went to Quagmire's_

"Um, I do believe you are trying to say, "Hagsmire"…NO WAIT! Before I clear that up, tell me first who you are!" Kludd says.

Seconds go by.

"Did you hear me!? WHO ARE YOU?!" Kludd exclaimed, on the verge of his patience disappearing.

_Kludd_

_Since he's in Quagmire's, he decided to giggidy giggidy with the go-giggidy giggidy after he giggidy giggidy giggidy goo!_

"Even if I understood your language, I doubt that to be true about me!" Kludd replied, now angry.

_Hee hee, All right!_

"Enough! I have had it with your inane droller mocking my staid nature! Show your face you coward!…On the second thought, don't! It seems so clear now I'm not one too talk!" Kludd yelled out, realizing he too hid his expression, yet was not going to expect what the KYS guy was about to utter.

_Kludd_

_He wears that titanium mask as an homage to Leonidas from 300_.

"Sigh, first off, I wear this mask to cover my face after it was torn apart in battle, second, it's made out of the purest metal precariously handpicked from The Beaks, not titanium!" Said Kludd, in hope it would calm him down when he cleared something up for once.

_Is it made out of lead?_

"Lead? No! I said metal!" Kludd replied, temper lost.

_Glass?_

"READ MY BEAK! METAL!!!" Kludd bellowed

_XD, Oh, so it's (giggles) madness!_

"Madness?" Kludd asked, while his fuse was lit up.

_(Hold your socks! XDDD)_

"THIS IS METAAAAAAAL!!!" Kludd yelled, with all his lungs' power.

Once Kludd finished huffing from all the energy extorted from that one outburst, he heard cheering.

"As if it was not bizarre enough to hear a guy who sounds completely yoicks, now cheering!" Kludd said.

_Now you know_

_Giggidy Kludd, Giggidy goo!_

"THAT'S A LIE!! THAT'S A FRINKING LIE!!" Kludd yelled out.

Never had Kludd felt so infuriated in his entire life.

His hunger for destruction had been awakened, and his wrath was indignantly uncontrollable as if someone had now summoned the apocalypse to devour-

"Kludd?" A barn owl asks.

Hearing the voice, Kludd turns to face another familiarly appeared owl in a hollow.

"Oh, hey Soren" Kludd replied.

"Hey bro, what's up?" Soren replied.

"Oh, you know, same old same old" Kludd replied.

Five seconds pass.

"Mmm, figures. How's life after the burning treating you?" Soren asked.

"Ah, it's okay, although I haven't been able to locate Hagsmire yet" Kludd replied.

3 seconds pass.

"Really? Even with the map?" Soren asked.

"Even with the map" Kludd retaliates.

Four seconds pass.

"Meh, whatever. Do you want to get some voles to eat?" Soren asked.

"I'd love to! Especially since I'm no longer a main character" Kludd replied.

"Actually, you always were, but your decease in the sixth book sort of canceled it" Soren replied.

"Mmmm, yeah, you're right. I guess ol' Kat didn't want me around when Coryn, or like Nyra wants to call her, Nyroc, appeared, I don't know, perhaps to strengthen the plot or something" Kludd replied.

Three seconds pass.

"Really?" Soren asked.

"Yup" Kludd replied.

Six seconds pass.

"What are you trying to say in "strenghten the plot" exactly?" Soren asked.

"Oh, it's quite simple, you see. Here's how it works: When I died, the author wanted to add something more ancillary to the story. Something that would keep the readers in depth yet retain the purpose of the whole "Hagsfiends perhaps still existing through a modern owl world" initiative intact. That's why she decided…

Thirty four reasonable yet freaking boring minutes later..

…and that's where it leads to the reason why I'm nothing but a reminder that lead to the prolonged reminiscence of Coryn's mother, who he refused to think about after she killed whoevertheracdrops' Coryn's friend was." Kludd replied.

"Um, I think his name was Dustytuft, or Phillip I'm guessing" Says Soren.

"Oh! Well, yeah. Once HE was dead, I haunted Coryn as scroom until he finally rejected me so much in "The Outcast" that I dissappeared. And now, here I am!" Said Kludd.

Four and a half seconds pass.

"Oh, that sounds more coherent now that you put it through that perspective" Soren replied.

"It sure does, now how about that vole!" Kludd asks.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Let's go!" Soren says.

Once they were both quiet (FINALLY!!), Kludd and Soren flew towards somewhere out of view.

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**Yeah, have mercy and just spare me the flames.**

**I already know this chapter was worse than the last one.**

**Not because of the overdone Family Guy and 300 references.**

**But I guess most of you all are 3DG fans, correct?**

**If you want to discuss your argument about the band.**

**Be mature about it and PM me. **

**(Instead of taking it out on the story through flames!) **

**Nevertheless, thanks for reading!**


	6. Skench

**6#: Skench's Turn**

**Hey skins! Been a long time since I updated!**

…**And that's pretty much all I can think of (next to the fact I'd like to thank you all for not suing me after that three days grace crack in the last chapter)**

**Now for this chapter! Enjoy!**

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From the darkness of the scenery, a great horned owl emerged as it came and flew upwards onto the tree's branch.

"This is perpetually odd I must say" Said Skench as the poor owl had no idea what was in store for her.

Just like the five other owls whose luck was less guaranteed than their tempers being held under control.

_Know your strasarts ruoy wonKnow your starsarts ruoy wonKnow your starsarta ruoy wonK_

"What? Who said that? Show yourself he who seems to compliment me by calling me a star" Skench asked.

_Skench_

_She's the Ablah general of St. Aegolius Acadamy for MAMA LUIGI._

"Excuse me? But are you yoicks? You mean Orphaned owls! What possessed you to say that anyhow?" Skench asked.

Seconds passed before Skench saw that the KYS guy did not pay attention to her.

_Skench_

_Introduced Britney Spears To Kevin Federline._

"What are you talking about? Who are those people you keep associating me with? Hagsmire, who are **you**?" Skench asked.

Skench did not receive an answer after three or more seconds.

"ANSWER ME YOU DISTRAUGHT VOICE!" Yelled Skench.

_Skench_

_Invented moon blinking…_

_IN AMERICA!_

"Now that's just deceitful! Even if I did invent it, The place would be called The St. Aegolius Canyons, not some daft imaginary land with an uncreative name!" Skench replied.

"Now then, with that being said, please sincerely and kindly with all appreciation needed answer me this simple question:

WHO THE SPRINK ARE YOU!?" Yelled Skench.

Still no answer.

Skench sighed as she became unaware the KYS guy went on.

_Skench_

_She ate Mickey Mouse._

From that moment she heard it, Skench's cheeks began to puff up.

From his normal appearance, one could conclude Skench was perhaps about to vomit, yet instead does something else.

"…

…pfffffffFTTT! HA HA HA HA HA! Hee hee, HOOOT! That's a good one! Ha ha ha-"

Skench was laughing undeniably hard.

Enough to have her rolling around on the floor, tears streaming from her face as she failed to control himself.

_No wait! Why are you laughing?_

"HAHA! Hee, I haven't laughed (sniff) this hard since Nurse (sniff) Finny yelled like Goofy when she accidentally (sniff, giggle) fell of one of the canyons!" Skench bellowed and resumed laughing.

_No! please don't! You're not supposed to laugh! If my boss sees you, he'll-_

Yet for some unknown reason, the KYS guy was no longer heard.

Meanwhile, Sknech easily resumed laughing for fifteen more seconds, until she was out of air.

"Hee, hee…ho, ha! Hee… Um, hello! Anyone there? Helloooooo?" Skench hooted while looking around.

"Glaux! I'm all alone!" Said Skench.

In spite of it sounding as though she thought it to be a bad thing, Skench did something hard to believe:

she took one of the horns from her head, bewilderingly unfolded it as though it was a rolled up magazine.

Which revealed that it actually was a magazine titled "Playbird" with Kludd on the cover of it looking completely-

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**WHOA! I think that was enough for today! **

**Otherwise I'd have to change the rating to M!**

**And in case you're all wondering, I had to fire the KYS**

**Guy. Sorry, buy he wasn't doing such a good job!**

**Don't worry though! In a few weeks, I hire a new one, and **

**Thing will be back to the way they were! Thanks for reading!**


	7. Spoorn

**7#: Spoorn's Turn**

**Once again, I'm sorry for the length of time I took without updates.**

**Been busy!**

**Hopefully this chapter will make up for it!**

**And yes, that was a reference I used from Yu-gi-oh in the last chapter. (I go on you tube a lot and see MORE than just abridged series, if you know what I mean! (In the non-perverted sense!)) **

**Anyway, here's the story!**

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As always, there came into appearance a western screech owl (who if you knew how he looked like, resembled quite coincidentally Spock from Star Trek) who stood on the ground.

"I don't remember quite exactly how I ended up here!" Spoorn told himself while he flew onto the branch of the same tree.

Suspense was the last thing on his mind when the (new) KYS guy began:

_Know Your stars_

_Know your stars_

Know your stars

Know your stars

_Know your stars_

_Know your stars_

"Am I hearing things?" Spoorn asked, while looking around.

_Spoorn_

_He shot John F. Kennedy_

"Huh? No I didn't! I swear, I'll admit I killed an owl once, but never one with a vague name as that!" Spoorn said.

Yet it remained silent

"Hello! Where am I? In a dream?" Spoorn asked, unable to calm his nerves.

_Spoorn_

_Thinks two plus two equals OVER 9000!!_

"What? Please! I do not! We all understand it's four. now please! For the sake of Glaux! Tell me who are you!?" Spoorn asked, nearly going crazy.

No reply.

For an almost obvious reason, Spoorn began shaking.

_Spoorn_

_He likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain._

"WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?!" Spoorn asked, extremely anxious.

_IN AMERICA!_

"WHAT?!" Spoorn asked even more desperately than he thought.

No reply as of that moment.

As of that moment, Spoorn felt as though he was tied to a chair like Alex Delarge from a Clockwork Orange, constantly being tortured.

"No. No! NO! Stop it! Stop it, please! I beg you! This is sin! This is sin! This is sin! It's a sin, it's a sin, it's a sin!" Yelled Spoorn, crying at one second.

_Spoorn_

_Added the "r" to his name when he realized his parents gave him a worse name than the parents of that orange Disney bear with the red shirt._

"You needn't take it any further, sir. You've proved to me that all this owl slavery and killing is wrong, wrong, and terribly wrong. I've learned my lesson, sir. I've seen now what I've never seen before. I'm cured! Praise Glaux!" Yelled Spoorn.

Somehow, he had gone completely out of control.

_Now you know_

_Spoon_

"I'm in my happy place, happy place, happy place…" Said Spoorn silently rocking backk and forth, throughout twenty minutes.

At least until two great grays came to the scene and took him away.

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**Once again I am done.**

**Forgive me, but Clockwork Orange is one of my favorite movies, and YES, I did parody some dialogue from it.**

**Ya'll should go see it when you have the chance (trust me, it's more than it starts out to be!)**

**And thanks for reading as well!**


	8. Jatt and Jutt

**7#: Jatt and Jutt's Turn**

**Hello there!**

**Don't know what to say, except forgive me for delaying once more!**

**Oh, and one more thing! Since I did this for the last fourth chapter (and this is the fourth one after that), here are the people I'd like to thank for reviewing:**

**Shadow Sora94, Inglantine, Insane Rice Of The Cosmos, The Awesomeness of Moosey, Ezyl's Girl, and of course, Wise Crack Idiots.**

**Now, on with the show!**

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"Peculiar, quite peculiar" Said Jatt looking around.

"What makes you say that besides the fact we're in an empty room with oddly visible light?" Jutt asked.

Jatt knew what to reply to that.

Yet as soon as he spotted a tree branch, he asked back "Yo, Jutt, don't you think it'd be easier if we could perch on something first?"

From realizing there was a tree next to them, Jutt nodded his head in agreement and they both flew onto the branch.

"Not bad I say" Said Jatt.

"I do believe you are right, Jatt" Replied Jutt.

Of course, Jatt would have replied back, had it not been for you know who coming in at you know when:

_Kkkkknnnnnooooowwwww yyyyyooooouuuuurrrrr ssssstttttaaaaarrrrrsssss_

"What? Who said that?" asked Jatt, looking throughout his surroundings.

"Meh, beats me. As long as it's not making any racist jokes!" Jutt replied for no reason.

Jatt gazed at Jutt bewilderingly.

"Okay, I guess we'll go with that for now" Said Jatt.

_Jatt and Jutt_

_Skipped GYM class during eight grade_

"Huh? What did he say?" Jatt asked.

"I think he said something we did to some sort of JIM fellow" Jutt replied.

"Pardon? I don't think whoever this peculiar voice is is saying the truth, do you?" Jatt asked.

"Nope, we must affirm ourselves at once in that case!" Jutt replied.

"You are frightfully correct" Jatt replied.

With that said, Jatt and Jutt turned their heads to face the most upwards possible, and tried to speak.

"Um, excuses me sir, but could you by any chance mind telling me who you are, and what are your intentions to talk of us in a deceitful manner?" Jatt asked.

No reply was given after four seconds.

"Hello, did you hear him right?" Jutt asked.

_Jatt and Jutt_

_Their hobbies are killing baby seals and pouring sulfuric acid on koalas._

"EXCUSE ME!?" Jatt and Jutt exclaimed simultaneously.

"That, my friend, is most definitely not what we do!" Jatt yelled.

"I mean, I'll admit we're a bit cannibalistic sometimes, but that what you're saying is incoherent and just loony!" Jutt screamed as well.

No reply after five seconds.

"Can you hear us you outrageous nag!?" Jatt yelled.

Still, no reply.

"What kind of coward is this fellow? Saying such things about us!" Jatt said.

"And I'd never!" Jutt replied.

_Jatt and Jutt._

_Like to eat hickory smoked, horse butt holes…_

At that second, Jatt and Jutt's eyes widened to an unpredictable length.

"HICKORY WHAT?!?" Jatt exclaimed.

"SMOCKED WHAT?!?" Jutt exclaimed too.

…_from a cup!_

Jatt and Jutt would have become extremely angry as of that moment.

Until they became aware of something on their own from their curious faces they pulled.

"You know what, Jatt, maybe it be better if we just ignore this inbred" Jutt said.

"You are correct! I mean, come on! It's not like he's too strong to do anything if we call him a…WUSS!" Jatt said, giggling.

"Exactly! Although he already was a wuss, and judging by the statistics on how he'll turn out in his own career, he shall remain one!" Jutt replied.

"Yeah! I mean, one could easily infer that his brain level perhaps never even surpassed that of a comatose llama with Down syndrome, it's readily-"

_Jatt and Jutt_

_They're selling chocolate._

A pause for about two seconds filled the area.

"PFF! How's that supposed to sound offensive?" Jatt chorltled.

"Yeah! It's no like if-"

But Jutt was unable to continue as he was interrupted by what looked like an odd cartoon fish below them.

"Chocolate? Did you say **chocolate**?" The fish asked.

Jatt and Jutt looked below them, but could not speak as they were interrupted once more by the KYS guy.

_Yes sir! With or without nuts._

"Huh? Why doesn't this guy ever take a break?" Jutt asked.

Jatt could not reply however, as he would have been interrupted.

"Chocolate?! CHOCOLATE?!?! CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!"

Jatt and Jutt really did feel surprised from what the fish was saying.

"Oh well, at least he cant reach us from up here" Jatt said.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm acceptable with a fish out of water, but what? Does he have jetpacks?" Jutt asked.

Two seconds later, other than yelling chocolate every half second, the fish also pulled a string in his back, revealing two jet propelled wings beginning to charge up.

Correction, NOW Jatt and Jutt REALLY did feel surprised from what the fish was saying.

"Could we presume the author's creativity kicked the bucket?" Jatt asked.

"Unless we fly the hagsmire out of here, I think we'll kick the bucket!" Jutt replied.

With saying that, Jutt flew off.

"Indeed" Jatt said, as he also flew off.

"COCOLATE!!!" Yelled the fish, as he followed them.

_Now you know_

_Jatt and Jutt_

--------------------------------------------

**Well, I guess there's not much to say. **

**I mean, I guess I only wanted to make it of book one.**

**Plus, I've been busy lately, so I don't think I'll**

**Be able to obtain anymore creativity for another chapter.**

**Sorry!**

**Still, thanks to all of you who have liked and reviewed my story**

**I very much appreciate you all.**

**I hope you all had a good time!**

**-DP**


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